Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a child with a heart defect? I read this essay on the Hearts of Hope blog this morning and it really struck a chord with me. I guess part of the reason is because while everyone else is celebrating the new year, we are preparing for Drew's heart cath tomorrow. It's funny, I was totally ok with this until we got home yesterday. Then I started feeling overwhelmed, depressed, angry, etc. As I was putting Drew to bed last night I laid with him until he fell asleep. Then I stayed a little bit longer, just holding him, listening to him breath. I whispered to him that I loved him. And that I was so sorry for everything he has to go through. And I just laid there and cried. On New Year's Eve.

But I am looking forward to the new year. Dan and I are both turning 30 this year. With each passing year the kids grow and change so much and I look with anticipation at what the future holds for each of them. This year promises to bring many good things for our family. But I also know that it's not going to be an easy year. We will likely have Drew's third heart surgery in the spring. I'm sure there will be other hospitalizations. There will be colds that will make me wonder if and when it will turn into pneumonia. There will be events we have to miss because we can't take a chance with Drew getting sick.

This morning I was reading Franklin Goes to the Hospital to Drew. I told him that we're going to the hospital tomorrow and he has to have something called a heart cath so the doctors can see if his heart is healthy. He told me "it hurts me at the hospital." And I had to just say "I know it does, honey. But the nurse will give you medicine so it doesn't hurt as much." I told him he can choose what to bring. He wants to bring his dinosaur that walks, his pillow and his dog that he sleeps with. We're also going to bring quiet games and movies for him to watch when he wakes up and has to lay still. He's the second case of the day tomorrow and we will be checking in at 9:30 a.m. Please keep us in your prayers. I will post updates from the hospital.

22 comments:

Dina said...

I hope that everything goes smoothly for Drew tomorrow. You and Drew will be in our thoughts.

Dina

Armbruster Asylum said...

God bless your family tomorrow! Andy and I will be praying for Drew.

Kym

Anonymous said...

We will be praying for Drew and you guys tomorrow!
Anna

Anonymous said...

Praying for an uneventful heart cath, sweet dreams for Drew, and peace and comfort for your whole family. ~ Laura Mulder

Erika said...

We're on the same timeline - cath Feb 8th with the Fontan late spring. I know what you're feeling, mama. You are so not alone.

You will all be in our thoughts tomorrow.

Katie said...

Thanks for posting the link to the essay--it really helped me to understand more of what you go through. Now that I am a mom, I can't even imagine the fears and anguish that you experience. I love you guys and will pray for you and Drew during his cath.
--Katie Scott

Awesome Mom said...

Good luck with the cath. It is so much harder when they are older and can understand more.

Mom said...

Drew is going to do great tomorrow and I will be praying non-stop, just as so many others will be. Then, when its all over, I'll be waiting to take care of you all! Don't forget, your mommy loves you, too!

Molly said...

Andrea... every time I think of your family walking through this I weep a little. I just keep reminding myself that God is watching over Drew and loving him WAYYYYY more than any of us could ever. I hope that can bring you some peace. As always... we'll be praying!
Love ya - Amy

Kacie said...

wow...that essay is really powerful - it filled my heart with compassion and love for you all. Remembering you through this time and praying for God's peace and protection. Hugs, Kacie

Jane said...

Thinking about you guys today. We'll be praying for you tomorrow.

Much love, Jane.

UbrStrBksMom said...

You will all be in my prayers tomorrow. Hospitals stink but you are goign to do fine! It's okay to not be "okay" about everything honey.. just hang in there and call if you need anything!

Anne Marie said...

We love you, Drew. Be strong tomorrow, we'll be thinking of all of you.

jennifer said...

You all will be in our thoughts tomorrow.

jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shannon said...

I hope that everything goes as perfectly as such an imperfect experience can go. My thoughts and bestest, goodest wishes are with you.

leslie. said...

all i can think about is how lucky drew is to have loving parents who are able to get him through this all. Here's to a powerful 2008!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, Andrea. Thanks for all the sharing you do...hopefully we can all learn something from you. Please keep us updated on how the heart cath went. You, Drew, and your family are in my prayers.
Melanie

Jenny Unger said...

My heart and mind is so full of thoughts of you and your family! I am fasting and praying all day. There are many things in life I do not understand, and I know that I never will. I have come to accept the questions that have no answers. But I cling tightly to the things that I know are true and as unmovable as a mighty mountain by the simple touch of my finger. What I know to be unmovable is God's unfailing love and passion for you and Drew and Dan and Ava. I know that it was never his intent for his beautiful children (no matter what age) to suffer such heartache. So I know he will make you strong and he will be intimately near to all of you this day and always. He will never leave your side or Drew's side as surgery takes place. As I commit you and your family into the capable and powerful hands of Jesus, I know you will be well taken care of. I prayed for 21 years asking God to heal my daughter of cancer. The cancer remained...but so did Jesus! It was (and still is) NEVER easy and I have hated every moment that I have had to stand by helplessly and watch her suffer. But the intimate closeness of God that I have come to depend on in every circumstance of my life is more precious to me than I could have ever imagined. My prayer for you is that the love, grace and compassion of Jesus will bring you an unmeasurable strength and comfort until this heartache has passed. I love you deeply and await your updates.

Kristina said...

Andrea Dan Drew and Ava
I woke up this morning thinking of all of you and praying for all of you. I was so grateful to see that you blogged yesterday and I had a chance to read that essay. I am touched by your strength and faith. You are in my prayers constantly today. God Bless
Kristina

Valerie said...

We love, love, love you and know things will be fine. Sometimes I think cath's are harder then the actual surgery. My plan was to wake up this AM and take you all breakfast but then I read the cath is at UCSF so I will feed you when you get home.

Laura and Tony said...

hi. i love you. all of you. and when drew does have his cath, it will go smoothly. you are all in my thoughts and prayers.