Monday, September 17, 2007

We're still here!

It's been a while since I've posted. Partly because there's not much going on, and partly because I'm sick and I haven't been doing anything.

I'd like to take this opportunity to brag about my husband. I've been sick since Wednesday and he has been taking such good care of me. He's been getting up with the kids if they wake up at night and again in the morning. He's always asking me if I need anything and even goes to the store to get medicine for me. He's been making breakfast, lunch and dinner AND cleaning up. He stayed home from a bike ride so I wouldn't have to take care of the kids by myself. And he does all of this without complaining. I'm not sure if I would be so gracious. What a great guy!

What has been going on? Well we're just getting into a routine again. Drew has preschool Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday while he's in school I am joining a Mom's Connection group that meets at the church. It's a Bible study/mom's social gathering where we can share about our lives, our kids, our struggles and triumphs. They also provide free child care for kids under 5, so I've got Ava covered too. Wednesday is another mom's group that I went to last year and am planning to do again unless it gets to be too much. Thursday I'm planning to start a little girl playgroup for the little sisters while their big brothers are in school. That leaves Mondays and Fridays open for other playdates or activities and I'm hoping to make it a habit to go the gym those mornings as well.

Speaking of which, I am training for a half-marathon. Once again I was waiting to see how the training went before I officially signed up and told people about it. I was able to run 10 miles two weekends ago so I think I'll be able to get to 13 by October 7. Although since I was sick this weekend I skipped our long run, so I'm hoping to be able to catch up later this week.

I talked to Drew's cardiologist on the phone last week and they've increased his sildenafil dose to 3.5 ml 3 times a day. We also have an appointment with his pediatrician on Wednesday (so she can go over his chart and get to know him) and with endocrinology on Friday.

Finally, I've had those yucky vulnerable feelings about heart matters on the surface a lot lately. I don't know why I can't stuff them down like I normally do, but they are just right there on the surface waiting to bubble over. I talked to someone today who explained it to me in a way I've never heard before. And it really made sense. She said "you are in a chronic state of grieving." And it's true. Because Drew's heart condition is not an event that occured and that has an end. It is still happening. And it's not over for me. I don't know if it ever will be. I will probably always be waiting for the next emergency even if he has years of good health. Anyway, it was just a new perspective that hadn't occured to me before, but kind of explains things.


Anne Marie said...

Hey Dre- Welcome back, and I hope you feel better soon! Yay Dan, he's a great guy- it's hard work when one member of the team gets sick, so give him a big hug for doing such an awesome job. As for your emotions about Drew, I will not try to say I understand, as my kids are heart healthy- but just so you know- it is COMPLETELY understandable for you to feel the way you do. As a mom of any child, the fear of something bad happening to your beloved child is unthinkable. And you have had to live with that mommy worry at a completely different level for 3 1/2 years. I can imagine your emotions would have to come to the surface, and I would think they would quite often. It is good you are staying involved and getting close with so many moms. I know if I lived closer, I'd want to be a part of your support system and your playgroups! You are doing everything right, keep it up, mama!

dear kate lovingly said...

hey sweetie pea, i wish i had been there tonight... you know, i might just sneak over allll day on thursdays now just so i can see babies and mommies and lg'ers all day long. ;-) and listen, about this stuffing-down-the-icky business, i know it feels like crap. and i wonder if you don't see that as some sort of failure, from knowing you and hearing how you talk about it. but the thing is that it is GOOD to come to a point where you have to realize, "hey, i must have been shoving a lot of junk down there if there's no more room." that's when it's time to undertake the ongoing (albeit periodical) job of cleaning some of that old stuff out. even if it's just dusting some things off and sending them right back down there, it makes a difference. get a little air and light in there to keep things from getting really icky. okay, i am at dire risk of overextending this metaphor or god forbid sounding like a know-it-all (ha!) so i'm just going to say that we both know i'm not alone in saying that your love army is here for whatever you need. run-on sentences notwithstanding, i love you and admire you! i will talk to you tomorrow. :-*

Anonymous said...

Hi Andrea - just wanted to say that I am thinking about Drew today....
Also, great name for the new group. I love it : ) You deserve the beuatiful necklace. I am so happy that Valerie has done so much work and that others are excited to have this group -
Also, you are doing a great job on the blog - you will look back on it and be so glad to have your thoughts and feeling recorded. I looked at my hand written journal just the other day (of Carter's experiences) when I was adding something and I am so glad I have all of it written down - it is so much a part of who we all are - and Carter is so strong and thankful when he reads it...I know we will have more to add to it - but it really is a blessing.
Keep taking care of yourself so you can be a strong happy Mommy - and keep accepting everyone's help! If I wasn't homeschooling and working full time I would helptoo, but my heart is with you -so please accept my thoughts : )...
Love, Jana