It's been a while since I've posted. Partly because there's not much going on, and partly because I'm sick and I haven't been doing anything.
I'd like to take this opportunity to brag about my husband. I've been sick since Wednesday and he has been taking such good care of me. He's been getting up with the kids if they wake up at night and again in the morning. He's always asking me if I need anything and even goes to the store to get medicine for me. He's been making breakfast, lunch and dinner AND cleaning up. He stayed home from a bike ride so I wouldn't have to take care of the kids by myself. And he does all of this without complaining. I'm not sure if I would be so gracious. What a great guy!
What has been going on? Well we're just getting into a routine again. Drew has preschool Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday while he's in school I am joining a Mom's Connection group that meets at the church. It's a Bible study/mom's social gathering where we can share about our lives, our kids, our struggles and triumphs. They also provide free child care for kids under 5, so I've got Ava covered too. Wednesday is another mom's group that I went to last year and am planning to do again unless it gets to be too much. Thursday I'm planning to start a little girl playgroup for the little sisters while their big brothers are in school. That leaves Mondays and Fridays open for other playdates or activities and I'm hoping to make it a habit to go the gym those mornings as well.
Speaking of which, I am training for a half-marathon. Once again I was waiting to see how the training went before I officially signed up and told people about it. I was able to run 10 miles two weekends ago so I think I'll be able to get to 13 by October 7. Although since I was sick this weekend I skipped our long run, so I'm hoping to be able to catch up later this week.
I talked to Drew's cardiologist on the phone last week and they've increased his sildenafil dose to 3.5 ml 3 times a day. We also have an appointment with his pediatrician on Wednesday (so she can go over his chart and get to know him) and with endocrinology on Friday.
Finally, I've had those yucky vulnerable feelings about heart matters on the surface a lot lately. I don't know why I can't stuff them down like I normally do, but they are just right there on the surface waiting to bubble over. I talked to someone today who explained it to me in a way I've never heard before. And it really made sense. She said "you are in a chronic state of grieving." And it's true. Because Drew's heart condition is not an event that occured and that has an end. It is still happening. And it's not over for me. I don't know if it ever will be. I will probably always be waiting for the next emergency even if he has years of good health. Anyway, it was just a new perspective that hadn't occured to me before, but kind of explains things.