Today was kind of a hard day for me. Dan is not feeling well, so I had all the birthday preparations to take care of on my own. I know a lot of moms do most of the work involved in taking care of the kids and the house, but Dan really does a lot. So to have him out of commission was a big deal. I was very stressed out. And then I was sad.
I usually get sad around Drew's birthday. I guess it's just a reminder of the shock we felt when we first learned of his condition and all that it would take to keep him with us. But I don't want to be sad! I want to be happy. I have a beautiful son, with a beautiful heart, and I would not change the way he is. I love him. It's not that I start thinking about that time in the hospital and the surgeries and the despair AND THEN feel sad. I just feel sad. Without thinking about anything. A friend of mine explained it to me like this. Your body just remembers. It's like seasons. A certain time will come around and my body remembers what it felt like. Anyway, since this typically happens around Drew's birthday I have been dreading it. I have been anxious in anticipation of it happening. So I'm hoping that was it and it's over.
Luckily I have a wonderful friend who graciously came over this afternoon and helped me out. She made more cupcakes, decorated them, helped me fill the favor boxes, get some dinosaur games ready, and prepare food. She also entertained and loved my children. She did all that while being 9 months pregnant and ready to have her baby any minute. Am I lucky to have a friend like that, or what?!