I had two days of crying plus a lot of prayer and I am feeling a lot better today.
I have the best husband ever! After being gone for four days in New York I returned home and was a total wreck. I couldn't cook, I couldn't clean, I could barely care for the children. And he just kept right on truckin'. He made dinners, cleaned up and helped so much with the kids. And when I called home crying, saying I was sorry I couldn't be a good mom and wife right now, he just said "What are you talking about? Don't even say that." I love him so much. God really gave me the perfect partner in Dan.
Today we have been busy. I think that is the key to my sanity. If I don't have time to sit and think I will be ok. This morning we had gymboree preschool. The only reason Drew goes to gymboree preschool is it is the first class of the day--everything is clean. And, there are only two other kids in his class, limiting our exposure to germs. And I get 45 minutes to go to Starbucks or Target or read a magazine by myself. After gymboree Drew had his first day of school! OK, so its adaptive PE held at the elementary school that he will be going to eventually and its only for a half hour, but still! He went by himself with the teacher and I had to sit and wait for him in the office. Then we came home where a friend joined us for a picnic lunch in the sunshine. I've also resumed some of my normal household duties and I'm starting to think maybe I could use cleaning as something I can control. I will throw myself into keeping a clean house and it will be spotless because I will be in charge! A nice change from Drew's health where I can only pretend to be in charge.
I talked to someone from UCSF yesterday about how to prepare Drew for his cath on Tuesday. She said to play with our doctor kit, read Franklin Goes to the Hospital, and tell him on Monday that we'll be going to the hospital. She also told me to let him help pick what to pack in his suitcase, and let him bring special pillows, blankets, or toys. And a DVD player with his favorite movie. We'll be able to stay with him until he is asleep and be with him when he wakes up. I am feeling better about the whole process and I am looking forward to having it behind us. It will be good to know when surgery will be so that we can plan other things. For example, we have two weddings and three graduations (including my own) during a two-week time span in the beginning of June. It will be nice to know if we'll be able to attend any or all of these events.