Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Crappy Day

New York was awesome. I will write about it when I am in a better mood.

Today was crappy.

I had a great time on vacation. Almost too great. I think there might have been a bit of denial going on there. Because the minute I got home I felt like I was slapped in the face with reality. I have been crying all day. Why? I don't know. Because Drew's heart catheterization is in a week. I know he will be fine. I know it is a routine procedure. It is diagnostic. We will be home after one day. But my head and my heart are having a conflict. My heart is crying out, NO! I don't want to go. I don't want to do it. I don't want surgery. And when Dan tries to reassure me that Drew will be fine, I can't help having the tiny little thought of what if he isn't?

And I have such wonderful friends who are more than willing to help me and support me. One of them called this morning to see how I was and when I told her "not so great" she decided to come over and keep me company. She loaded up her sweet little girl into the car and started over. And then she got hit by a car. She is ok, and her daughter is ok, but her car is not and she has to go to the doctor to have her neck and back x-rayed. And the horrible person who hit her threatened her and took her cell phone away so she couldn't call the police. What kind of person does that? After a while someone stopped to help and my friend was able to call the police and they arrested the jerk who hit her. And it made me cry even more.


kate said...

dear dear andrea, at least you're right about one thing: your friends are here for you! i'm glad you had such a great time in new york (and such a deserved one too!) but for my own selfishness i'm glad i've got you back. i know it's impossible not to have those doubts about drew's tests and stuff in the back of your mind, and it's hard because it feels awful to even admit those thoughts. but i believe that our sweet drew will be well. i have to believe that, and i honestly think it's true. but no matter what happens remember that the himmels are protected by god's love and surrounded by the love and care of friends and family, not least of whom is me! i love you doll, take it easy on yourself. i am bossing you so there's no argument.

Anonymous said...

so sorry to hear about your crappy day...

I'm thinking about you, have been a little tied up here, but still always thinking of you your family.


Dina said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I can certainly relate and empathize. I know the heart cath. date is coming up - I have started sending postive thoughts and energy your way.
I hope since this post you have started feeling better.