Yesterday was the anniversary of the day we got Drew's diagnosis. It is usually a very difficult day for me as I remember back to the trauma we experienced that day. Surprisingly, I made it through the day without feeling the crushing sadness of last year.
It was actually a pretty good day. I think part of the reason I did so well is because I was able to share my story at Mom Connection. It provided a focused way to think about that horrible day 5 years ago, and encouraged me to share how God has redeemed it. The theme of the morning was women who have experienced real love through encounters with God and have demonstrated real love to others as a result. I'm sure it also helped to have all my friends praying that I would be able to focus on how well Drew is doing right now and how far he has come and not dwell on the past.
I have been thinking about why this time of year is so difficult for me and I think there are many reasons. Part of it is that is the anniversary of a shocking and traumatic event. The day my world was turned upside down, the day that changed the rest of my life. Also because it is Drew's birthday he often has yearly evaluations and doctors appointments, which just serve as a reminder of the challenges he faces. Thirdly, his birthday falls in the middle of CHD Awareness Week and everywhere I look there are sad stories of kids dealing with CHDs. Each story pains my heart because I know the ache those families are feeling.
This morning I feel the sadness trying to creep in. I keep reminding myself of the walking miracle I am privileged to be with each day. I am trying to keep busy and to focus on others. If I am busy thinking about and caring for other people, then I won't have time to think only about myself and my feelings. Today Ava and I are baking cookies for her preschool class and I am doing some of the final preparations for our Valentine's Day event at the hospital. I will have another opportunity to share my story that evening. Maybe after that I will post some of what I said here.