Sunday, May 6, 2007
I love him so much
Drew did such a good job during his echo on Friday. It took an hour and a half and he lay still pretty much the whole time. He also said “it doesn’t hurt” when they had to put the stickers on him and “she’s looking at my heart” when they started using the transducer. We brought his favorite movie, Cars, and he watched it while the tech performed the echo. After it was over she gave Drew a prize. He chose two more tiny plastic alligators.
I was watching the screen the whole time and although his heart is imperfect, it was beautiful to see. The coordination involved is amazing. You can’t deny the existence of God while watching his tiny heart beating, all the valves opening and closing, the muscles pulsing at just the right time. And as I watched I found myself praying: please let me keep him. I love him so much.
We had such a great day yesterday. Our whole family was playing together and laughing and having fun. And I found myself consciously storing these memories, building up a catalog of good times, in case these are some of the last that we have. Is that crazy? It’s not that I think something horrible will happen, I just don’t know what will happen. And I don’t want to miss anything.
Drew finally got to take a bath yesterday. We were supposed to keep his puncture site clean and dry for four days, which meant no bath. Drew loves baths and would ask every night after dinner if he could have one. So he was really excited last night to finally take a bath with his sister.