Drew's heart cath is set for this Friday. I talked with one of the cardiologists from UCSF this afternoon and we are the first case of the day. That means we need to be in admitting at 6:45 am with no food after midnight and no liquids past 5:30 am. I think it's good that we're the first case because hopefully Drew won't have a hard time fasting since it's so early and he's not used to eating that early anyway AND we are more likely to be able to go home the same day.
I've had lots of mixed emotions lately (what else is new?). Last night after Dan confirmed to me that his mom will be able to watch Ava for us on Friday I sort of lost it again. Just the thought of packing our suitcases again, driving out to Palo Alto again, reading Franklin again, explaining to Drew that we have to go to the hospital even if he doesn't want to again, spending the week away from our friends & activities AGAIN was more than I could take. I am tired. Tired in my heart. Weary. I told Dan that I just want to have a normal life. And even as I said it, I knew that I don't get to have a normal life. As Dan said, this is our normal life. Well I hate it.
But it's nothing another day and a little perspective didn't cure. Another heart mom I know posted some links of some blogs of heart kids who need prayer. I know I shouldn't have, but I visited their sites. And while usually this is a very bad thing for me (I have a hard time compartmentalizing and often really FEEL the pain someone else is feeling) it made me realize that I am lucky to be where I am. Things could be much, much worse.
These two verses helped me get to a better place today:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
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9 comments:
Don't feel bad about having off days, Andrea. You have every right to them and you need to process through that myriad of emotions that are inevitable with this less than ideal situation. And those scriptures bring great perspective... on those days that you feel too weary to go on, God will give you rest. We're praying!
We'll be thinking of Drew and all the Himmelbergers this Friday!
Lot of love!
I'm putting it on my calendar to remember to pray!!! As you said the other day to me you don't give yourself enough credit!!! Andrea you are doing a fabulous job and you are an inspiration. Hold tight to that! Love, The Sheridans
Hey Andrea,
I LOVE your blog. It's like a window into your soul...thanks so much for bearing. I will be praying for you and Drew and your family on Friday & the days leading up to it. I pray that "the God of hope fill you with peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the Power of the Holy Spirit". Romans 15:13. Love you, Melanie
Hang in there friend. Please call if you need ANYTHING!
Love ya!
Dee
Thank you for your words. Reading your thoughts, and your verses has helped me too. I will be thinking of you on Friday, and checking your blog from work!!! Love You!
Andrea,
I know its been a rough week and having other heart kids pass away right before Drew's cath doesn't make it any easier. I too feel like I need to be thankful for Arianna's health. The fact is our children ARE fighting against a disease and this can be scary and overwhelming. This week has probably been one of the hardest for me.
Drew will do fine with his cath and I will be praying all day for him. You have use fellow heart moms here for you if you ever need to talk.
I too don't like how our so called 'normal' life isn't so normal. I feel a comfort in knowing I'm not the only one having these feelings.
God Bless!
I don't know if you know little Isaac but he is also in Palto Alto and having his 3rd OHS by Dr. Hanley. You can check out his site from my heart buddy links on my blog.
I was going to ask you. Do you mind if I add Drew to our buddy list?
I have been praying this morning for Drew and all our other heart friends that are goign in for testing or surgery tomorrow. I feel in my heart that you will be a good report and Drew will do better than you imagined. Have I told you how adorable Drew is? He just makes me want to drive out to California and scoop him up! Give him a big hug from us in Arizona. I'll be checking back on you guys.
Yes, you can add us to your list!
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